Thursday, December 29, 2005

Rainy days and Mondays...

Do you remember that song? Well, I can tell you Karen and I totally understand each other and I am not ashamed to tell you that today is one of those days. I am not having a good time of it and this rain is not helping me at all. You know in less ten days my beloved eldest daughter Racheli will be joining her brother in Israel for a six month program. She won't actually be in Jerusalem, she will be in the northern part of Israel in Tzfat. Very holy place, but I suppose all of Israel is. She will studying at a girl's seminary and it is a very good thing. I know this. If it was me I would want to go too! I know this is an INCREDIBLE opportunity for her. I know that this is G-d's will for her as He has provided all the finances, etc., for her. We could never afford to send her or Ya'akov for that matter but their Father can! I know that this is the best for her and that she will grow in her love of Hashem and Torah. I know, I know, I know! What I do not know is how in the world I am going to breathe when she leaves. This just seems so much harder than Ya'akov. And that to me was the WORST! She is my best friend and my right hand. What am I going to do without her here?

Listen, I know I will survive. I know I will breathe. But I tell you, I just don't know how. I know Hashem will give me strength...I am just scared of this change. She is much braver than I. But brave I must be too, for her, for my youngest still at home, and for myself. I know somehow I will get through this, but I need to talk about this. I think some of you must understand how I feel. Support dear ones, support is what I need and I am not ashamed to tell you. It is not like me to reach out. I am a very private person, but this is very painful, and I am trying to keep it together for her sake. I do not want her to see her Imma upset. So here I am. A very blessed mother indeed, but awful sad right now.


Over The Rainbow said...

Hey lady... I hear what you are saying and knowing the caliber of Imma that you are I truly cannot imagine what you are facing. But you are a truly amazing person whether you always realize it or not.

And I am praying for you that your Father will comfort you as know one else can.

If there is anyway we, those who love you most, can help, do not hesitate to ask.

I truly stand in awe of what you are allowing Racheli to do simply because it is best for her and in spite of how hard it is for you.

YOU ARE MY HERO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love always, OTR

NotQuiteJuneCleaver said...

I will cry with you but know I am so in awe of you all! What big BIG steps you are taking!I will pray for you to feel peace and for her to be safe and learn all she can in the time she is given there. Be very blessed my dear friend and all your family