This past week the little one I care for took her first step! You can hardly imagine the joy and elation that came from her bedroom that day. Her mother and I happened to BOTH be there when she took her first step towards her Mama! WOW! We both started squealing and dancing around the room! It is amazing that such a 'little' thing as taking a step could bring two grown women such absolute joy!
Rewind to earlier in the week when I was talking to my Racheli. She was so discouraged about how 'far behind' she was. "I am in this school and they are all FFB'S!" ( "Frum From Birth" meaning raised in Torah from birth) She did not think she was ever going to get it. She didn't read as fast as they do, daven (pray) as quickly, read Rashi as well etc. (Although between you and I, I can tell you she highly underestimates herself °Ü° ) To make matters worse, another young lady was taking some notes during a class and the teacher told her she really did not have to because she had such a solid knowledge of the subject. Note taking, he told her, was for the girls who did not have such a knowledgeable background. Now while I am sure he was trying to encourage the young lady and in no way was trying to insult my daughter, my daughter just felt worse and worse.
Baby steps, I told her, baby steps! Hashem is DELIGHTED with all you are learning and doing! It means so very much to him! Even more than a tzaddik's learning, I told her. Why? Because those baby steps toward Hashem are the truest, loveliest steps that anyone can take. Those precarious little steps made in trust and love are the most beautiful ever. And even if you tumble, you simply tumble forward into His arms. I told her to not underestimate herself and not to compare herself to others. What seems like tiny little baby steps to you and HUGE to Hashem! Just ask any loving parent...
The baby took her first steps and we jumped and we cried for joy!
PS. Thank G-d the girls at this seminary are stellar in all ways. They are nothing but kind and helpful to my Racheli, beautiful girls inside and out, but you know how it is...at the time she was still wishing she 'knew it all'.
I have a question. Or three.
7 months ago