I have been blogging like crazy, especially since I have two other blogs to keep up with. I think I need to slow down, but it has been an outlet for me. I know why I am blogging so much. It is my escape from reality. I figure if I just keep busying myself, talking about this and that, I will not feel my sadness.
I feel so dumb feeling so sad about such a good thing. This is wonderful for my daughter. Opportunity of a lifetime and all that stuff!
So, instead of letting myself feel, I blog. I guess I will soon need 'bloggers anonymous'.
I am a mother though. I am allowed to feel this way, aren't I? I don't have to always be so strong, do I?
I won't allow myself a cry, not today. Today I want to rejoice with my daughter. Today I want to tell her she is going to have such a wonderful time in Tsfat. Today I will tell her not to be afraid of not making friends, fuhgetabout it! You will make all kinds of friends and have so much fun! I will tell her about all the torah she will learn and bring home to me. I will tell her that the time will fly and how wonderful it will be to see her brother again! Today I will be strong. I know she will miss us all as much as we will her, but we all know this is so good.
Sunday afternoon may be another story. At least until I get home from the airport and I pull it all together for my youngest again.
Y'know, motherhood is not for the faint of heart.
I have a question. Or three.
11 months ago