This morning I saw a picture of a friend who several months ago made aliyah, and my heart felt sad because I miss her. I started to think about the many people who have stumbled in and out of my life and how much every one of them meant to me.
Later that day another friend wrote to me to share some sadness she had regarding maintaining friendships over the years. She asked me why I was still her friend. She and I have been friends, to a greater or lesser degree, for about 16 years now. It is amazing to me to have known someone that long and to see how they have grown, particularly to share in all the hardships they have been through and lived to tell about. Their strengths and perseverance have been an inspiration to my own life. In fact, every friend I have ever had has helped me, truly. Even friendships that lasted less than a year have taught me something valuable.
I believe that each friend comes in to your life at the time you need them the most. You kinda have to look at it as they are there in that moment to help, to support and to teach.
Sometimes friends may even decide they no longer want to share the journey with you. Perhaps they are working on something in their own lives. I know it is hard, especially for those folks we really care about and to whom we have given part of our heart. I suppose the hardest thing is to let go and to let go of the love and the part of us that goes with them. I have had many people who have walked in and out of my life and some I still keep in contact with, others I do not. I do not feel badly that they are no longer a part of my life, but there are a few that I do miss terribly.
I suppose that is why I enjoy the friendships I have managed to maintain over the years. Perhaps it is better to say that they have maintained me. These are the ones that I have inside jokes with, that I don't have to explain a thing to, who understand why I am the way I am or am drawn to the things I am drawn to. They are the ones who wink and smile at me when someone assumes something incorrectly about me or when I feign ignorance on a particular subject laugh with me about it after wards. Some of these friends have even blessed me by metamorphasising from friend to sister. They are most precious of all to me.
For me, knowing that a person is there is good. Even if I may not be able to talk to them a lot, it is enough to know they are there. I too am here. Each one of my friends and I share a time in our lives that was special, exciting, sad, tumultuous, joyful, you name the flavor. These times in our lives are graven on my heart in gratitude and much love and they mean more to than these feeble words can ever express.
I have a question. Or three.
8 months ago